Homeschooling Anyway

“Do the next thing.”
~ Elisabeth Elliot

Over the years, one thing that has been of great curiosity to me is that while my friends and I have many things in common, the condition of our homes is usually not one of them. Some homes I’ve been in have been cluttered; some were spotless. Some clean, some dirty. In some homes I felt comfortable, while others I couldn’t wait to get out of. But whatever the condition of the home, it reflected the personality of the owner and I respected that. (And I’ll admit that there have been plenty of days when my house was the one I couldn’t wait to get out of!)

In this article, I want to talk about being at peace with your home. This is a difficult thing for many at-home moms. And if you have your children home with you during the day – whether it’s because they’re too young to go to school, you homeschool them, or they’re home because school is on a break – keeping your home orderly can seem impossible. While my kids have always had chores, the house has never gotten really clean unless they were out of the house and I could really attack it.

Many times over the years, our house has gone through days — and even weeks — of being constantly cluttered and desperately in need of a good “pick-up.” I was just too discouraged by the mess to do anything about it. I hated nagging, so sometimes things just didn’t get done. (I used to joke that the only reason we had parties was to make sure the house got clean beforehand.)

I’d like to share with you some ways to be at peace your home. You’ll see two of the steps today, and I hope you’ll come back tomorrow for the other two. And please, as you’re reading this, remember that I am still in the trenches, too. The only people who’ve really “arrived” in this area are the highly motivated…and those with housekeepers.

Step One: Remember that Keeping an Orderly Home Requires Repetition

I don’t like that. I’m naturally lazy, so I quickly tire of having to pick up, pick up, pick up…day in and day out. But, having been a mom for over 17 years now, I know that I can’t thoroughly clean my house one day and expect it to stay that way. When my kids were small, the constant mess would drive me crazy. I’ve learned, though, that teenagers can make messes just as easily as their younger counterparts. But since we also have a preschooler, I can compare the two ages quite easily. Small children still win in that department…our three year-old is a one-woman wrecking crew.

So picking up is constant, and it drives me nuts to have to pick up things that I know I just put away earlier in the day. But it’s not just the picking up that’s daily. Newspapers that come into the house must be recycled or they’ll grow by leaps and bounds into an ugly stack. Laundry has to be repeatedly washed, folded, and put away where it belongs. I’ve lost track of all the times my family has had to push aside Mt. Fold-Me just so they could sit on the couch. (You see? You can move mountains!)

The endless amount of paper that falls out of our mailboxes must be filed, paid, or recycled before our countertops or desks are consumed by it, never to be seen again. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, these are all necessary parts of the daily routine.

I believe the key to keeping up the repetitive tasks is to “multi-task.” Watch something interesting on TV or listen to a teaching CD while folding laundry or doing the dishes. (I like to listen podcasts while working.) If you’re trying to get your kids to work, make it fun. Set a timer and see if you can all beat yesterday’s time.

Step Two: Practice Self-Discipline

I am not, by nature, an orderly person. One of my earliest memories is of my mother coming in to my room when I was five, where I was playing very nicely, thank you. She told me in no uncertain terms to CLEAN MY ROOM, then walked out and shut the door. As any self-respecting, easily-distracted five year-old would do, I continued to play.

Minutes later, she returned and was none too happy to find my room in the same happy mess. I was told I would be in big trouble if my room wasn’t spic-and-span the next time she came in. I got the message; I didn’t want to get in trouble.

Again my mother returned, but this time, as she surveyed my now-orderly room, a look of pure delight played across her face. It was short lived, having been quickly replaced by a “Hey – wait a minute” expression. She crossed the room in three quick steps, knelt by my bed, lifted the bedspread, and found that I’d stuffed everything in my room under the bed (except for my dresser, which wouldn’t fit).

To her chagrin, this was just the beginning of my disorderly ways. Well into my teen years and beyond, I had a messy room, then a messy apartment, then a messy house. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t know where to put things or how to take care of my belongings, it was because, to me, picking up after myself wasn’t interesting enough. There was always something else I would rather be doing.

It literally took years for me to realize that the battle wasn’t between me and my stuff, it was between me and myself. With that knowledge came the discovery of a new weapon: self-discipline.

I looked up self-discipline in the dictionary and found this definition: “The discipline or training of oneself, often for improvement.” Depending on the version you read, you may or may not find “self-discipline” in the Bible *(CBD link)*, with the exception of 2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV). Most likely, you will find “self-control.” The definition for self-control is this: “The act, power, or habit of having one’s faculties or energies under control of the will.” The definitions are slightly different, but the meaning is similar: there are times when we must make ourselves do that which we don’t want to.

What 2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV) says is this: “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline.” That self-discipline is so readily available to each of us, and all we need to do is practice it.

Here’s a quote from H. L. Sidney-Lear: “The slack, indolent temperament disposed to self-indulgence and delay will find a very practical and helpful discipline in strict punctuality, a fixed habit of rising to the minute when once a time is settled on, in being always ready for meals or the various daily matters in which our unpunctuality makes others uncomfortable. Persons have found their whole spiritual life helped and strengthened by steadfastly conquering a habit of dawdling or of reading newspapers or desultory bits of books when they ought to be settling about some duty.”

We could paraphrase Sidney-Lear’s quote by saying, “Homeschooling moms have found their whole spiritual life helped and strengthened by steadfastly conquering a habit of reading email, surfing the web, and chatting on Facebook when they ought to be teaching, taking care of their kids, and running their homes.” That was all tongue-in-cheek, of course, but you get my drift. Saying it this way hits the bulls eye for me.

©2010 Sally Dinius
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